Multiple personalities.

I've no idea where I ran across this, but when I read it, it amused me:

"If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?"

-- Tim Poggioli (I believe this is the correct person.)

It's the jam!

I just heard a great quote on a reality television show:

"I'm the jam! I don't understand why anyone wouldn't want to butter their bread with me."